Mother’s Love

This weekend I had my mom in town and I realized I wasn’t allowing myself to receive her love. I saw how far I had come in the last year and that since the last time we spent an extended week together (which was a really good week by our standards then) that I had grown. We sat down and I shared that I needed to do my part to “level up” our relationship. That my capacity for loving and communication had grown and I wanted more with her. It was the first time I’ve done this kind of work on a relationship that was already “good or fine.” She and I have done LOTS of sharing and work that took us from a place where I ran away from home at 15 thinking I may never see my mom again to a place where we wanted to spend a week together. But there was still more work to do. Every time I grow it’s my responsibility to share that growth with the people around me and take them higher with me. I can’t simply expect they will “see” or “get” where I am at. Even if they read all my posts and blogs the way my mom does. :) It’s a process, the work is the conversation. And after doing that work with my mom, I felt much more at ease with her and my family. I was able to receive her love. The weekend ended with the two of us in a yoga class. In savasana, my mom reaches over and started rubbing my forehead lovingly. I started to cry. Then she put her hand on my chest and I started to cry more. It felt like she was doing Reiki on me. Reiki is simply allowing life force energy to come through your body into another person. In my world, this life force energy is LOVE. And that’s what she was doing. Letting love come through her hand into me. It took a lot to stay in that moment with her. To ignore the call of the chaotic mind that I should get up, clean up our sweaty mats, move along to our next task in the day. But I stayed. I let that moment take its time. I received her love.